YOGAYUGA

She was a baby.

She was a girl.

She was a mother of two.

She was an old lady.

She died today at 6:02pm.

Me and my sister almost cried our hearts out by watching her gone next to us. We put her to sleep.

It was a correct decision but also a difficult decision. It is hard to let go someone/something you had been with for 10 years. She chose me to be her master 10 years ago. She followed me home. I couldn’t resist her sweetness. I picked her up. She was 3 months old. She died when she was 10 years old. She did give me good time. I called her Bibi as she looks like a baby. She had a pair of beautiful eyes. She can talk with you through her eyes.

Everything happened so sudden within a week. She stopped eating, couldn’t walk and couldn’t move. She was always active, but became quiet all in sudden. She had never been to the vet for any medical appointment as she was always healthy. She was very naughty, and loved to jump. She stopped jumping one week ago. It was strange. I took her to see the vet on Jan 16 in our area. It was her first time to see the vet, and also was her last time. The vet told us Bibi was on critical situation and appointed us to go to the 24 hours hospital immediately for medical consultant. After we arrived, a lady vet suggested her doing the X-ray, blood test and ultra sound examination. After the X-ray and blood test had been done, the vet told us that her lung was filled with water. She had problem with liver and white blood cell. There could be a tumor inside her spleen but this need to be confirmed by ultra sound examination. The result of it can tell us the solution of treatment. If it was a good tumor, she needed a surgery. If it was a bad one, then not much we could do. The ultra sound should be done on the same night we entered the hospital, but however, they didn’t do it that night. They said they would do it on Jan 17, as a specialist would come in and consult me the best decision for my dog. We went to visit our dog at the hospital on Jan 17. We met the specialist, who is an Australian. He told us that he would do the X-ray and ultra sound examination for the heart and abdomen of Bibi but he would charge me HKD5,000.00 extra. I did pay HKD5,200.00 for the first day when we entered the hospital. This money should include the ultra sound examination, X-ray, uric test, blood test and hospital stay. We did the X-ray first day, so I supposed that the X-ray shouldn’t be repeated. The Australian vet explained that he is an expensive vet, and a specialist, so he needs to do everything step by step. I argued with him that my dog did most of the check up already, so I don’t think she needs X-ray again. What she need was only the ultra sound examination for the final confirmation of the existence of the tumor. He said he would read my dog’s medical record again, which had been done by the lady vet, and then let me know the process before he did anything further. Me and my sister were angry with his attitude and suggestion. Therefore, we decided to get our dog out of their hospital. He apologised immediately and said he did read all my dog’s records, but just missed out some parts related to the heart. He changed his offer and said he would only do the ultra sound for Bibi’s abdomen and see if there was a tumor. He insisted he must drain the water out from her lung as she was in danger. All he charged is HKD2,400.00. I was even more angry. I questioned him why the lady vet we met the first day; didn’t process the water draining for my dog if she was on such critical situation. He just couldn’t answer it as total three different vets had been seeing my dog since the first day my dog arrived. They said and did different things. They also charged different. No one told me all the charges were just made up by different vets in that stupid private hospital. They didn’t help anything at all. In the end, I asked him to stop doing anything. He just wanted us to keep testing and paying all the expense.

We sent our dog to SPCA today with all her medical records. The vets of SPCA told us directly my dog suffered with heart disease on very late stage. The vet said “she is not a happy dog and her abdomen size is abnormally big.” Basically, not much things they could do therefore if it was a tumor or not in her spleen; it didn’t mean much to the process. My dog could die by heart attack anytime actually. Both vets we met in SPCA, who are also Australians. They both can tell my dog suffered with serious heart disease by the medical records of that hospital. The vets of that hospital didn’t even mention about the heart disease at all. They are completely not honest. Anyway, we still processed the ultra sound examination in order to confirm if it was a tumor inside her spleen or not. Me and my sister both felt better by doing all these check up before the final solution. We wanted to be responsible for Bibi. I had been struggling for the idea of putting her to sleep. I did talk to friends, who keep dogs. They all suggested me putting her to sleep, however, it was still hard to let it out. I don’t want to feel like killing her, a dog who had been with us for 10 years. She was my first dog, the first pet. I want to be responsible for her life. I also don’t want her to feel pain. The vets of SPCA did make a good conclusion at last after the ultra sound examination. Basically, Bibi’s body was filled with water, so not much they can see very clear through the ultra sound. They confirmed that the medicine can’t help much either in such case. Surgery is absolutely no need at her age and on her status. Finally, I said in tears “I think the best solution is to put her to sleep.” The vet said “Yes, I am sorry, but this is really the best solution.”

Me and my sister decided to watch her go. The vet told us to prepare for it. We sat with Bibi for an hour, and told her to be brave. She kept looking at us. She knew everything. She was in deep pain. She sat on the ground, but suddenly tried to climb up, and sat with us. She stopped walking while we walked with her to the surgery room for the injection. She knew it, so she didn’t want to walk toward the injection room. I told her again to be brave, then she continued to walk. The vet and his assistant held her tight, and gave her an injection. We held her tight, and cried. She went peacefully….very quiet…..I hope that we did release her pain…It was strange. I seem to know she would be gone sooner or later. I asked my mum if Bibi would die last Sat after dinner. I don’t know why I had such idea, but it became the fact few days later.

I arranged her a pet buried service with other dogs and cats. The process will be done by tomorrow. I don’t want her aches placed in my house. I don’t want any sadness around. Me and my sister both think Bibi should be buried with other dogs and cats as she can have some companions and friends. We don’t want her to be alone. She keeps the collar, I keep the leash. We are connected. I can always lead her…..She is always my Bibi and my sweet heart……sad……I saw live and death in one day….I will never have animals in the rest of my life again. I mean it, never is never. I don’t want to see all these happenings again.